Eats. Drinks. Scenic Views. Sounds like a party in the mountains? Well, that guess would be close but not quite right.
Eat. Drinks. Scenic Views, that is the catch phrase for Twin Peaks. Twin Peaks is a chain restaurant that started near Dallas, Texas in 2005. They currently have 24 different locations in 10 states.
Now, the name itself should give you a fair idea as to what this restaurant is like, but in case your imagination is not working, let me describe it.
As you walk in, the entrance gives you a feeling of being in a log cabin, nice and homey. The ‘aw, how cute’ feeling leaves the minute the next set of doors is opened. You have just entered Man Cave central. Twin Peaks is all about “You, because you are the man.” When I say man cave central, I mean it. The restaraunt stays consistent with the log cabin decor, along with garage doors leading outside, big flat screen tvs with football and baseball games playing and animal carcases.
Now, I had heard about this place before so I knew a little bit about what I was about to walk into, but I certainly did not imagine that it would be this barbaric. I went with my boyfriend and his car club, Nissian Infinity Datsum Owners (Nido). Only one other member had brought his girlfriend, so the two of us were the lone females in the group, and they ended up leaving early.
So really, it was me against a bunch of guys in man, or should I say pig, heaven. So, when it comes to the ‘scenic views’ part of their catch phrase, you are probably thinking of the decor right? Well, you should not be. Because by scenic views, they mean their employees. The people that they hire are girls around their early twenties that are nearly orange; they have been in the tanning booth so much, long legs, wear size zero and have fake breasts. No, I am not exaggerating. The worst part of all is the uniform. The girls wear boots, any kind, including Uggs, khaki shorts that could pretty much double as underwear, and a top that used to be a plaid shirt, but has been converted into a bikini just big enough to cover 3/4 of the girls’ breasts. It was beyond disgusting! I could not even look at our waitress. I stared straight at her face, even then just up in the direction of her forehead.
I understand completely that people have to make money in pretty well any way possible but working here, really is no different than working at a strip club. The two main differences are that Twin Peaks has no pole for the women to dance on and strip clubs do not serve meals.
The food is the one thing that they do right. Although it is slightly expensive, the portion sizes make the meal worth the pretty penny. My boyfriend and I got the Peaks Sampler. The Sampler is an appetizier that includes chips and salsa, fried pickles, mozzeralla sticks and boneless buffalo chicken wings. We had to get a to-go box because there was so much. The mozzeralla sticks and chicken wings were to die for. The cheese was stringy and melted in your mouth in the most delicious way, and the wings have just enough spice to be incredibly tasty without needing anything to wash it down with. One of the Nido members ordered a country fried steak that was the size of the plate! Underneath it was a pile of mashed potatoes and gravy, along with vegetables.
Though great food and ridicuolusly huge portion sizes can distract you momentarily from the degrading atmoshpere, it is not enough to erase how terribly disgusting this place is.
The fact that any man, single, married, divorced, or anything else would go there to just oogle the ‘scenic views’ is pathetic. In the words of Jessie Spano, from the 1990s TV show, “Saved By The Bell,” men are macho pigs.
I completely understand having to get a job in order to pay for school, so really I am not so much disgusted with the women who work there as the men who founded the restaraunt and the men who go there simply to drool over the employees. Not even the regulars at Hooters are that low, as those girls wear more clothing than they do at Twin Peaks.
The thing that gets me the most about this whole restuaraunt is the dessert item on the menu. It simply says “Scenic Views” and N/C which I take to mean no charge. I was too frightened to ask what it really was, although my mind went rampant with ideas that only macho pigs could enjoy. I give Twin Peaks 2.5 of 5 stars. Their saving grace being the delicious food and very generous portion sizes.